Childhood experience is one of the main causes of resistance that people experience. Another possible cause is the fear-to-succeed that has eaten its way through the mind of the person, and therefore the person prefers not to do anything just for the fear of failing if they do. This kind of person might need to visit a therapist or other experts that can help bring out the inner fire that might have been hidden to this kind of person. The expert helps you discover the particular thing that would drive you to succeed.
Have you ever faced resistance when you were trying to do something or trying to make your idea a reality? Do you have to do things below your standard because others don’t get along? Resistance to goal setting can be very disturbing and weakening. The good news is that you can turn that resistance to work for you if you know just how to go about it. You need to dig deep and look for the particular cause of the resistance. You need to determine whether you or your beliefs is the cause of the resistance or could be it be that another person’s resistance is the cause of the resistance.
Successful people have always affirmed that goal setting is the path way to success. Resistors are people who however don’t think goal setting is important. No matter how much you try to convince a resistor, he/she would never change his view on goal setting. Oxford dictionary defines goal setting as :
“the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.”
A resistor’s view of the world is completely different from how the rest view it. We can however try to look at things from their point of view to gain a better understanding of their reasoning. When faced with resistance from someone’s belief, I try as much as possible not to discard them immediately but look at things from their own point of view. There can be a useful information that would at the end of the day be useful to the project itself.
The following are reasons some people do not belief in goal setting
#1 The fear of commitment due to writing down the goals
The transition between writing and actually performing in accordance to the written goals scare of some people. Writing down of goals turns it into something of reality. Some people get scared of writing down the goals because of the commitment they would to put in to make the goals a reality.
Solution:
Ask yourself why you need this goal, what pleasure will you derive from achieving this goal, what is the fear that is stopping the resistor from writing down the goals, what will be the impact of achieving the goal on you, what difference would it make.
#2 Difference on how things should be done.
Different people might have different view on how what you want to do should be done. There are many possible ways of doing the same thing. Frustration and feeling of opposition sets in when we are faced with resistance.
Solution:
Look at things from the other person’s point of view. What are the differences and similarities? What can be learnt from the person’s idea? Is it possible to arrive at the same outcome but with a more effective and efficient way?
#3 Difference in outcome expectation.
Sometimes people may be expecting an outcome different from the outcome of the project they are supporting thereby discouraging them from further supporting the outcome. The resistor may pose some resistance due to the fact that he/she doesn’t have an idea or enough information on how good the outcome would be.
Solution:
Say the following statement to that kind of resistor:
“I guess you have another view as to how it should be done. What outcome do you have in mind? What steps should we take to accomplish that? Expatiate more……..”
#4 Fear takes over.
Different kind of fears sets in when it comes to goal setting. The fear of being rejected by the people around you and some may even laugh at you and tell you how come you ever thought you can achieve this goal. You don’t need to be bothered about what people say, you should always remember that your goals are for you alone and it will have most of its effect on you only. People are always afraid and pessimistic about what they don’t know. Another fear that creeps in is the fear of success. You might start daydreaming about how things would be when your goal is finally realized. You might start having a feeling that you are no more in control of your thought because some of the things you think would happen may end up not happening. The fear that stops you from taking action is the fear of failing. You will become cautious of making mistakes and that may hinder you from taking any step.
Solution:
Not sharing your ideas won’t help anyone including you. You never can tell how big your idea could transform everything and who can give you that little information that you need to transform the idea into a reality. Regardless of the type of fear you might have, you should always remember that your decisions would define you forever. You should always not the challenges and the obstacles that may face you in achieving your goals but never put your attention on them. Always learn from your mistakes and never dwell on them. Dwelling on them would sap the energy out of you and make you less determined.
#5 The belief that creativity is stifled by goal-setting.
Creative people might sometimes have the impression that they need to be rigid in the things they do so as to achieve the goals set within the time frame thereby limiting their creative minds. Goal-setting actually helps in the sense that you need to focus on just one task and ignore the numerous ideas that ends up being distractions.
Solution:
Don’t let your pursuit of goal blind you from seeing new opportunities. Look for ways to incorporate creativity alongside achieving your goals. You can always adjust as things progress. Be careful so as not to lose focus on the main focus. You will perform better when you engage in brainstorming and come up with solutions to your own problems.
#6 Self-limiting beliefs that can deter goal setting.
Lack of belief in one’s ability and potential to carry out an action successful limit one from setting goals. These type of people with this belief feels inferior to others and have low self-confidence. This belief hold them back from making great moves and share their talents and abilities with other that they might even be better than.
Solution:
Know your strengths and your weakness. Learn the act of delegation where you think you cannot perform perfectly and do the things you know you can. Appreciate the abilities and skills of anybody that would be contributing to your project telling them the values you want them to bring into the project. People tend to work harder when you take particular interest in what they can do and also in them.
#7 personal habits can also hinder.
One of the habits that make people resist setting goals is procrastination. People often avoid setting goal or setting up a plan to achieve that goal. The time taken, money to be spent and the commitment are some of the excuses some make to avoid goal setting. There are many situation where people refuse to set up a goal because they are afraid of the hard work and commitment it would take to achieve such a goal, so they prefer to avoid setting the goal. Poor attention to details, lack of perfection, distraction and being over-scheduled are some of the other habits that stops people from setting goals. The saying that attitude determines altitude.
Solution:
Do a thorough check of your habits and check for the ones that might be holding you back. Check whether its procrastination that has been stopping you or the resistor from setting goals. Determine the money, time and effort required to achieve that goal. You can also ask yourself the following questions:
What is working for you?
What are those things that aren’t working?
What should I stop doing?
What are the things you need to improve?
What can I do differently?
There are ways you can motivate and encourage yourself or the resistor to improve and tackle the resistance that is holding you or the resistor down in a positive way. A very important way to improve oneself is through self-reflection. It helps in self-awareness, self-development. It is quite impossible to improve when one is unaware of what to improve on.
THE LAST WORD
My advice for a resistor is that he/she should challenge himself and other’s assumption. You must learn to understand what you are resisting to overcome resistance. You must also have it at the back of your mind that there are more than one ways to achieve a single outcome, so be open to ideas. Believe in people that surround you and believe in the whole process.
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